What turns you on?

What turns you on: money, sex, power, clothes, a great martini, a trip to Hawaii, or just a big fat hug? Could it be all of the above? Sometimes when we get down and out on our luck and feeling a little blue, we have to start remembering things that made us happy in the past and do one of them. Now I realize that a trip to Hawaii might be something you can’t do right now, but you can at least go into the memory and feeling that really turned you on in the first place. Once you do this, synapses will fire for other wants and desires. Listen to those new desires that arise. Follow your instincts and act on them. I’ll show you how.


Something to be aware of is how wants and desires change as we get older. For example, I look at men differently than I did years ago. Not that I don’t like a hot, sexy, cute guy, but now it’s more about who they are as a human being than a hot body and a cute face. These days, I’m more into Woody Allen than Colin Farrell. It’s really about their mind and what they have to say that’s important to me now. That really turns me on.


There are really big, burning questions inside of us. Why am I here and what’s my life’s purpose? What gives me that fire in my belly that gets me revved up and hot to do it? We are all here for a purpose and a reason and it’s our responsibility and quest to find out what it is that in fact turns us on. For some it comes easily and others work hard for it. But it can eventually come easily if you get quiet and let your inner guide show you the way.


I grew up as a painter and transitioned to design. Deep inside of me I always had this yearning to write. So it’s funny that now I’m a five-day-a-week blogger while writing a t.v. pilot and a semi-autobiography. At the same time, I’m learning how to type more efficiently which is driving me nuts, because it’s slowing me down. It’s all a work in progress.


The clearer and deeper I go in me, the more I want to reveal to the world. I think that what I’m going through in the world is what others are going through as well. When we hear on T.V., the radio and the Internet about what others are going through, we have something to relate to. We are more connected because we don’t feel as alone, or scared, or lost. Contributing to that greater consciousness is something that truly turns me on.


So what you need to do to get back in check with what turns you on, is to get a piece of paper right now and write down five things you are really great at. It can be that you are a great painter, actor, musician, people-person, etc. What is it that turns you on and makes you tick and makes you happy? This is not about wearing a mask and saying the RIGHT thing. It’s not about pleasing your father, your mother or your lover. This is about pleasing YOU. What are YOU passionate about? Don’t think too hard about this exercise. Just write the first five things that come to mind (you can judge them after, but you might be surprised as to what comes out stream of consciousness). As you start to get the answers, something will register and you may even have one of those “AH HA” moments. From there, you may start making some phone calls to a friend who performed with you once or go to an audition. You take action to what truly makes you happy and doors and possibilities will open up. There’s no way around it.


I also find that it’s helpful to volunteer for things you really care about. It’s great to be around people that are doing something good for a good cause just because! This also brings me to acts of kindness. When you start doing something for someone else and get out of your own way, the veil lifts and you feel good, because you just did something really nice. Because you just wanted to. Acting in this way is saying to the universe that you have something to give and the universe will respond in kind to you.


A great personal story I’d like to share takes place a few winters ago. It was a freezing cold, bitter day. I was wearing a warm, delicious shearling coat that I got from the shook in Israel. There was snow on the ground. A homeless woman was sitting on the street with hardly anything on. And as I walked by she asked if I had any money to give her to eat. Without thinking, I took off my coat and gave it to her. Crying, she said, “thank you for giving me this coat to let me warm up, but I don’t want to smell it up.” I replied “you don’t have to worry about smelling it up, because it is now yours.” She started crying even more. She said, “Do you really mean that?” “Yes” I said. And then I handed her $5 for some food and she said, “May God bless you.” I walked away with such a warm feeling in my heart. I was a little cold and knew I’d get sh!t from my mother for giving away my coat, but it made me feel good. It was one of the nicest gestures I have ever made for someone and it turned me on inside. It made me feel so good about doing something that was just so right.


So what turns you on? What makes you happy? I know for me, it’s now about writing, helping others and learning to truly love myself. It’s an ever changing desire and a lifelong process. The most important relationship you have in life is with yourself; so again, get in touch with what YOU want and what turns YOU on. There are no wrong answers so don’t censor yourself. Get into that feeling place of already having and achieving what you desire. Visualize, meditate on it and journal about it. Once you move in this direction, more of your wanted desires will show up and continue to snowball.


Now you have some tools to make the process a little easier for what you want. When you start doing what you really love, you’ll start seeing how turned on you become. Life really should be about this each and every day. So grab a piece of paper, start writing and set your world on fire.

Written by: Betsy Karp

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